BigUglyWorld #4 - Frankenpunks (February 4, 2004)
Band:
We're in a quiet stretch as we search for new gigs. One of our usual haunts has decided to close it's doors, and that leaves us with a much more open dance card. But the new CD is out, and that makes us feel very, very cool.
Me:
What can a man say besides blah?
The World Outside:
The world we live in is one where news of the total lack of evidence behind the weapons of mass destruction that led to the deaths of who knows how many Iraqis pales beside Janet Jackson's right tit. 'Nuff said.
Meat:
So what's a Frankenpunk?
I'll level with you here. I missed the heyday of punk rock. I wasn't one of the angry white kids in the mosh pit screaming along to the Exploited. Since we're laying our shit out on the table, I had already discredited punk by the age of 12, having seen the punk friends of my sisters. To my young and suburban mind, they were just asshole kids who drank too much, took evil drugs, and spiked their hair to piss off their parents.
My poison at the time was rap music. Oh, shut up. I'm not talking about P. Diddy and DMX in a pissing contest. I'm talking about the incredible, political, angry rap of the early days. Bands like Public Enemy, Ice T, and NWA that were screaming for social change. As a middle class Canadian honky, I knew the movement wasn't mine, and that there was much I couldn't possibly get about it, but I appreciated the anger and the resentment and the social protest of it.
The point of this is to try to illustrate that I am not now, nor have I ever been, a frankenpunk.
I don't know who coined the phrase Frankenfood, but it wasn't me. Frankenfood is food that has been genetically altered, or in laymen's terms, fucked with. To me, a lot of what we call punk today is the musical equivelant of this.
Green Day. Good Charlotte. A Simple Plan. Blink 182. Sum 41. The Ataris. Avril Fucking Lavigne.
It's a lot longer list than that, but you get the point. These people are not punk rockers. They do not play punk music. They are pop stars. They play pop music. They are the pouty teen skanks that win American Idol. They are the heavily-tattooed representatives of soda pop manufacturers. In short, they're corporate-friendly radio noise, and should all stop breathing.
The best way to find a band that isn't punk is to look for one that sounds punk. Punk doesn't have a sound. If you put on a Siouxie and the Banshees CD and then listen to The Exploited, you might notice a distinct difference in styles. In punk music, the actual music isn't really the big issue.
No wonder it appeals to me.
Frankenpunk is based on the original punk rock masters, but has been watered down and tamed. It has been genetically altered to appeal to the masses and to fit a radio format. It sings slow and moving love ballades to girls. It embodies the wussiest parts of teenaged angst, all the shit that was left over when Kurt Cobain died and took music's real anger with him.
The thing is, I don't like saying we're a punk band anymore. I'm tired of people thinking we are going to sound like some cheese-eating high school boy band (thanks, TPOH). I'm tired of other so-called punk bands telling us that we don't sound punk enough. I'm tired of people thinking that our crowd can only be underage kids stage diving away their anger over mom switching internet service providers.
I mean, maybe it's me. Maybe the accepted definition that these pop punk wankers have shat out onto the word punk is more important than all the real punk history. Maybe Henry Rollins ought to get on board the 1-800-CALL-ATT train while the gettings good. But I can't believe that.
So we're punk rockers because we are trying to open eyes as well as ears. We're punk rockers because we don't want to sound like what they put on the radio. We're punk rockers because we get sickened by the world. We're punk rockers because we fucking said so, and if you don't believe it we'll kick your ass and spit on what's left.
And to all the frankenpunks out there, I understand. Seriously, I do. But I don't condone, and if you come to our shows, we're going to scare the shit out of you. We won't sound like AFI no matter much you ask. And until you're willing to come around, we'll keep screaming the truth in your face. There's hope for you yet.
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